It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day, and for the first time in 12 years, I am single, but I am certain I am not alone in this singlehood. As such, I’ve spent the last week trying to decide how to spend the day.

If it were a weeknight, I’m sure I could ignore it completely, but this year, it’s on a Saturday, and this poses a problem. On nearly any other weekend of the year, I could try to make plans with anyone, friend or family. But this is Valentine’s Day, and any of my attached friends and family are likely to have plans.

I could’ve suggested a girls’ night out to reconnect with some of my single girlfriends, but it felt clichéd and forced. It felt like avoidance of the reality… the reality that I am alone. I’ve already decided that being alone is something I must face head on. I don’t change the radio station when a song comes on that reminds me of my ex and the 12 years we spent together. Instead, I accept it for what it was and what it is now, and I turn up the volume and soak it in. I don’t try to erase the memory or avoid the hurt. Instead, I use these opportunities to make me stronger.

So this Valentine’s Day, I will not avoid being alone. Instead, I’ve decided to ask myself, “Will you be mine?” I’m going to use this day to befriend myself, and I encourage any other singles out there and reading this to do the same. Make a list of ways you could spend the day or things you could do for yourself and pick 2 or 3 or more. Give yourself a gift. Treat yourself. Find your smile. For if we can’t be happy within ourselves, if we can’t be friends with ourselves, then how are we ever supposed to be happy with someone else when that time comes?

Originally posted for Examiner.com at http://www.examiner.com/article/valentine-s-day-be-mine